Okay, so I haven't updated in here in forever. I had intended to update as much as I could, every day ideally but things get in the way and so it really hasn't been the main focus of my mind at the moment.
My university workload is currently driving me insane. I'd got extensions for my last two assignments with the intention of using them as a back up only as I knew my depression was showing it's head and I wanted to be prepared. I did not however, plan on being a week into my extensions and only just started one assignment and still need to research for another. My depression seems to have kicked off bigstyle the past couple of weeks, as in I know what work I have to do but my god damn brain just will not function. I've had no motivation, and no energy and even when I have tried to sit down and work, nothing comes out.
Last night I almost broke down to the point of actually considering giving up. It was probably a mixture of tiredness and frustration, as when I woke up this morning I felt a little bit better about everything, but I nearly gave up and that scared me. I've been down this road before, in regards to university and my depression and I do not want it to happen again. I've worked too hard to let my depression win. So today I forced my brain to work. My work is shit, and I could do so much better, but at the moment I can't afford to be fussy so I'm just hammering out whatever my brain will allow and am just going to have to get over the fact my marks for my final assignments won't be of the standard I've been maintaing all year.
Anyway, it seems like this blog is becoming more of a "how my depression likes to fuck my life up" rather than a weight diary, but it's all linked so what the hell. In relation to the weight loss, it's been very up and down. My little sister came to visit and we ate out, got takeaways and so it wasn't a good week, although I think I maintained so it wasn't too bad.
This week has been better, I went on the wii fit yesterday to play and do the body test and it said I'd dropped 3lbs, which is good especially as I still have until Tuesday before official weigh day. I haven't even been eating great this week, I just haven't had an appetite at all. I'm sure it'll come back and bite me in the ass when I stop being so stressed! Lol!
Let's hope things look up yes?
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